It is described as “60 seconds of fun” which would seem quite appropriate as this experience is to celebrate our wedding anniversary. Mrs Cook states that most experiences with me only last 60 seconds anyway. If you hadn’t guessed by now, we’ve gone Zorbing in Nottingham, and Aquazorbing, because that’s just how we roll.

Zorbing

After signing our lives away and being shuttled to our sphere, we’re now stood on the top of lush green steep hill in Nottinghamshire waiting to enter something inflatable and moist for some rough and tumble on our anniversary…. not a metaphor for any bumpy or perceived turbulent nature of our relationship. Zorbing really is like this. Quite how it ends up that some crazy New Zealander decides to build a big inflatable beach ball, throw in some optional water and push it down a hill, god only knows.

We’re advised to do the Zorbing first, and after being strapped into a harness, we’re stood waiting and wondering if the contents of breakfast are ready to make a reappearance. To enter the sphere, or zorb, we are instructed to Superman launch through a 2 foot wide opening on the side. This was not a move I was confident of achieving without specialist equipment or lubrication. Being a gentleman, I decided to let Mrs C go in first. There she is, Supergirl pose all lined up for a running jump into the sphere only to get semi-stuck, half-in, half-out, legs flailing about. We’re both finally in and strapped in the zorb in a semi-seated position.

Fifty revolutions of topsy turvy tumbling. One of us screamed like a biatch all the way down. And people wonder why my ears bleed. Remember when that Mars rover bounced its way onto the surface using giant airbags? This is how that felt.

Aquazorbing

After recovery, we go for our final ride of the day, this time Aquazorbing. To start, they chuck a bucket of cold water over us. Not in the slightest bit heated and it’s quite a shock. After the same ungodly superhero manoeuvre into the zorb, we’re sat waiting in some slightly warmer water in a sealed giant inflatable beach ball. We’re not strapped in this time, but instructed to link arms, raise legs and lie on our backs and wait for the drowning.

Spinning, slipping and sloshing our way down the hill, the water does its best to drown us, it’s like being waterboarded as the water hurls into our faces, unable to catch a breath although Mrs C again manages to catch enough air to scream for the entire ride. It’s like being trapped in a giant washing machine, we should have worn dirty clothes and chucked in some washing powder, they’d have come out a treat. We’re super soaked and we’ve had a super time Zorbing in Nottingham at Spheremania!

Author

Nick Cook. Amateur astronomer, space, history, nerd, extreme dog walker, cat slave, severe tinnitus sufferer. 13.7 billion years in the making - not that much better for it.

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